Joke #3908

What do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M.
Vote: has 46.63 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Vote: has 52.59 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, time, viagra
Two friends: Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? Of course! How many people are coming? Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
Vote: has 75.70 % from 558 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
Vote: has 79.91 % from 195 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, sex, vulgar
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
An old football player was dying. So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?" Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times: 1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team. 2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times. 3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
Vote: has 79.21 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, football, friendship, relationship, sex
An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"
Vote: has 86.05 % from 1263 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, marriage, old people, sex
Q. What's the difference between tampons and cowboy hats? A. Cowboy hats are for ass holes.
Vote: has 46.16 % from 58 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cowboy, sex
One day Pebbles Flintstone got scared and hopped in bed with Wilma and Fred. She looked under the covers on Wilma's side and asked what that was and Wilma said well Pebbles thas my rock. After that Pebbles looked on Fred's side and asked what that thing was down there and Fred replied thats my rock grinder. So Pebbles layed there for a few minutes then sat up and said so mommy puts her rock in daddy's rock grinder and out pops PEBBLES! ! ! !
Vote: has 30.41 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, sex
A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She dresses quickly and goes to find him. The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and Dad doing?" The mother replies, "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it." "You're wasting your time," said the boy. "Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled. "Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up."
Vote: has 86.69 % from 3252 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Two very elderly men were having a conversation about sex. Elmer says, "Yes sir, I did it three times last night with a 30 year old!" Leon replies, "You're kidding! I can't even manage to do it once! What's your secret?" To which Elmer said, "Well, the secret is to eat lots of whole-wheat bread. I'm not kidding!" So the second old man rushed to the store. The clerk asks the old man, "May I help you?" "Yes, I'd like four loaves of whole-wheat bread, please," said Leon. "That's a lot of bread! It's sure to get hard before you're done!" the clerk remarked. Leon replies, "Damn! Does everyone know about this except me?"
Vote: has 74.31 % from 259 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex