A schoolteacher was arrested today at Gatwick Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, the Home Secretary said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement.
He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
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Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Student: A teacher!
Yo mama is so stupid that when a teacher told the class nobody is perfect, he replied, "I want to become nobody!"
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A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "
I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze.
"Anything?"
Anything."
His voice softens.
"Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper.
"Would you...study?"
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
The teacher said to the children: "In a paddock, there were twelve sheep. Six of them got out by jumping over the fence. How many sheep left behind?"
"None", little Jim say.
"None?" says the teacher surprised. "Jim, you’re clueless in math."
"And you, misses, are clueless in sheep! As soon as the first sheep jumps out, the other will follow as well!"
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school.
Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving.
“Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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