Joke #2652

Mom: What did you do at school today? Mark: We did a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam. Mark: That’s right!

Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.

Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong? Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!

There was an employment advertisement in an office. So a guy went there. Managrer asked him: "Do you know what is the meaning of Ph.D.?" The guy answered: "Passed High school with Difficulties."

A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.

Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?

Q: What's long and hard on a blackman? A: The first grade.

Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?

A father went to take his daughter from school. While waiting, he heard her talking with a classmate of hers "I worry so much-..! My dad works 16 hours a day so he can build a dream house for when I grow up. My mom spends her days cooking for me, making deserts and tiding my room so I can have fun. I worry. I’m so worried!" "With that kind of parents you have nothing to worry about," her friend told her. "Yeah, but what if... What if they... What if they... ESCAPE?"