Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam.
Mark: That’s right!
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Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school.
Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?"
"Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
Vote:
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
There were three guys at a bar.
One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker.
The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas "Shit if she doesnt like the necklace she'll love the trip" he said.
So the buisness man said "That's nice, for my last aniversary I got my wife a Mercades and a new mansion, if she didn't like the mercades she has to like the new mansion. "
As the biker finished his drink he said "For my last aniversary I got my wife a t-shirt and a vibrator. If she didn't like the t-shirt she can go fuck herself."
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde?
A: Fourth grade.
There are three 6th grade girls: a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
Which one has the biggest tits?
The blonde....she's 18.
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Eleven year old’s environmental studies essay on the effect of oil pollution:
"When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Luke: Why did the M&M go to school?
Stan: I’m stumped.
Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
This guy went to school and he asked
"May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, " no not unless you say your abc's."
The guy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
The teacher asked "Where's the p?
He replied, " running down my leg!"