Joke #4153

Make love, not war. Or if you want to do both – get married!
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has 85.53 % from 281 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, men, single
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
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An old man and his wife are having their first argument after many years of marriage. He says, ‘When we got married, you promised to love, honour and obey!’ ‘I know,’ replies his wife. ‘But I didn’t want to start an argument in front of all those people.’
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."
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has 83.43 % from 1055 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex, wife
On wedding night, during sex: Husband: I had a sex with so many callgirls so many time before. Wife: Thats what I have been thinking since we met that I have seen you somewhere before...
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has 71.16 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I live like a medieval knight. Every night I go to sleep with a battleaxe at my side.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: marriage
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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Wife to husband: ‘I need a new dress.’ Husband: ‘What’s wrong with the dress you’ve got?’ Wife: ‘It’s too long and the veil keeps getting in my eyes.’
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: marriage