Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.
One day in class, the teacher says: "Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?" "Simple Lost tense!"
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
Teacher: “Suppose there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?” Boy: “None.” Teacher: “None? You don’t know your arithmetic!” Boy: “Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”
“If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up” said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. “Now then, mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?” enquired the teacher with a sneer. “Well, actually I don’t,” said the student, “but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself.”
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
A little girl took her report card home and showed it to mom. The mother was very disappointed by all the very low grades. "Well look on the bright side" said the child, "you know for sure I don't cheat."
When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
Why did the teacher jump into the lake? Because she wanted to test the waters!