Joke #4168

Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.
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Teacher: Billy, how do you spell "Crocodile"? Billy: ‘K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' Teacher: No, that's wrong Billy: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
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What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher? Lots of blood tests!
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Eleven year old’s environmental studies essay on the effect of oil pollution: "When my mum opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead."
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Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school? Josh: I don’t know. Why? Chad: They’re good at trick questions.
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What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
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One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask, "Why do we have to learn this pointless information" "To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture. A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted. "It keeps the ignoramuses like you out of medical school," replied the professor.
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You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
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Little Johnny's first grade class was playing "Name That Animal." The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, "What animal is this?" "A cat!" said Suzy. "Good job. Now, what's this animal?" "A dog!" said Ricky. "Good. Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said, "It's what your mom calls your dad." "I know!" called out Little Johnny. "A horny bastard!"
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