Teacher: Can you tell me where Napoleon came from? Pupil: Course I can. Teacher: Very good.
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Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?
Kate: Why?
Nate: Because there was no history to study!
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars?
Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "
I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze.
"Anything?"
Anything."
His voice softens.
"Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper.
"Would you...study?"
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly.
Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan.
Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?"
Student: "Future impossible tense."
Vote:
Yo mama so fat when she was in school she sat by everybody!
A female school teacher comes up to a parent at a parent meeting and says, "You know, your son called me a prostitute!"
Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute?? what do you care about what she does after work?"
Q: What is long and hard to a blonde?
A: Fourth grade.
Billy was excited about his first day at school.
So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom.
So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.
Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can’t find it," he admitted.
The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now.
Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and went on his way.
A short while later he returned to the class room and said to the teacher "I still can’t find it."
Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who had been at the school for awhile, to help Billy find the bathroom.
So Tommy and Billy left the classroom together and five minutes later they both return and sat down at their seats.
The teacher asked Tommy "Well, did you find it?"
Tommy was quick with his reply. "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards."