Teacher: You boy, what’s your name?
Boy: Mickey Jones.
Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here.
We don’t use first names.
Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.
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Q: Why do schools in West Virginia only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A: Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week!
„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?" asks mother.
„Come on mom, the most important thing is that I'm healthy!"
Vote:
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
Fred came home from his first day at school.
"Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
Why do mexicans walk around the school like they own the place?
Cause there dad built it and there mom cleans it at night.
It doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile. Winning's winning.
(The Fast and The Furious)
It doesn't matter if you pass the semester by getting 40% or 95%.
Passing's passing.
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
Vote:
Boy: “Isn’t the principal a dummy!”
Girl: “Say, do you know who I am?”
Boy: “No.”
Girl: “I’m the principal’s daughter.”
Boy: “And do you know who I am?”
Girl: “No,”
Boy: “Thank goodness!”
I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow."
The next day she came in wearing black!
When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong.
Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.