Joke #4249

Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.

Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid? A: The wall maker set.

A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.

Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?

Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine? A: They both don't work and always take your money.

The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac." "I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour." "That’s not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"

‘If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.’ Mark Twain

Yo' Mama is so poor, when you ring her doorbell, she sticks her head out the window and yells, "DING DONG!"

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

For his birthday, little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Johnny heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, “Son, where are you going?” Little Joe told him: “I was walking past your room last night and heard you telling Mom you were pulling out. Then I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I’ll be damned if I’m staying here by myself with a $280,000 mortgage and no bike!”