Joke #4249

Dick’s family were very poor – when the wolf came to the door, they ate it.
Vote:
has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
Vote:
has 34.61 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife’s beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, asher voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I’ve got a confession to make before I go... I... I’m the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I’m afraid I also was theone who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..." "That’s all right dearest; don’t even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I’m the one who poisoned you."
Vote:
has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: death, hospital, marriage, money, wife
Yo Mama So fat... She sat on top of Walmart and lowered the prices.
Vote:
has 72.91 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: fat, money, Yo mama
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
Vote:
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, money
Never borrow money from optimists – they always expect to get it back.
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money
Three cheapskates try to figure out a way of killing themselves with one bullet – so they put their heads together.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections? A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: money, political, republican, time
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the French study were released, Canada decided to conduct their own study. The Canucks didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three weeks of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00, the Canadian study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!
Vote:
has 77.68 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, sex
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
Vote:
has 62.88 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax