A guy walks into a drug store and asks for a packet of condoms. The pharmacist says, ‘That’ll be £5.00 with the tax.’ ‘Tacks?’, the guy exclaims. ‘I thought you rolled them on!’
One day a girl was with her mom in the park and saw two teens having sex on the bench. The little girl asked her mom, "Mommy, what are they doing?" The mom was blushing and replied, "Oh their making cakes." The next day the girl and the mom went to the zoo and saw two monkey having sex. The little girl asked again, "Mommy, what are they doing?" Again the mother replied, "Oh their making cakes." The next day, the little girl confronted her mom, "Mommy, I know you and daddy we’re making cakes last night." The mom was frightened and asked, "How did you know?" The little girl replied, "I licked the icing off the couch! It was good too!"
‘Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.’ Fred Allen
A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg? There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?
One day Pepito was having a shower with his father when he saw his fathers penis. He asked his father what it was and his father replied "this is my racing car". The next night Pepito heard moaning in his parents room, being curious he peeped in to see what was happening. He then saw his father on top of his mother, while looking his father saw him and told him to go to his room. "OK, but I'm not sure you're driving that racing car properly" replied Pepito.
My wife is so kinky, when she was born, the doctor slapped her bottom to make her cry, and she said "Don't forget to pull my hair" I accidentally swallowed some WhiteOut last night. Woke up with a massive correction.
Q: What are the three words you never wanna hear whilst having sex? A: "Honey I'm home."
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex? Pepper spray.
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’ To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"