Joke #4280

Murphy the bus driver is sitting in his cab when his supervisor comes along. ‘Hello, Murphy,’ he says. ‘What time did you pull out this morning?’ ‘I didn’t,’ replies Murphy. ‘And I’ve been worrying about it all day.’

A man calls 911 emergency: " Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!" After five minutes, the same man calls back: "It is ok, I found another one."

Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.

Two old men hobble into the pub. One says, ‘I’ve heard Guinness puts lead in your pencil. Shall we try some?’ ‘All right,’ says the other. ‘But, to be honest, I’ve got nobody to write to.’

"Name?" "Abdul Aziz." "Sex?" "Three to five times a day." "No, no... I mean male or female?" "Yes, male, female, sometimes camel." "Holy cow!" "Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general." "But isn't that hostile?" "Horse style, doggy style, any style!" "Oh dear!" "No, no! Deer run too fast..."

Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.

Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.

Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.

Condoms are not completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and he got hit by a bus.