Joke #4306

Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
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has 12.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: money

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Q: In what way are Democrats more generous than Republicans? A: Unlike Republicans, Democrats are not only generous with their own money, but also with other people's money.
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has 56.02 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: democrat, money, political, republican
An aspiring young lawyer was sitting in her office late one night, when Satan appeared before her. The Devil told the lawyer "I have a proposition for you…" "You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your your husband’s soul, your children’s souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and the souls of all your friends and law partners." The lawyer ponders this for a moment, then finally asks: "So, what’s the catch?"
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has 72.77 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, family, husband, lawyer, money
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take all his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me." At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed that he had only put $20,000 into the envelope because he needed $10,000 for a new baptistery. "Well, since we’re confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000." The lawyer was aghast. "I’m ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, money, priest
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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has 62.37 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, Yo mama
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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has 77.47 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
What’s the quickest way to double your money? Fold it in half!
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
Man, to friend, ‘A thief has stolen my wife’s credit card. Last month he ran up a bill of over a thousand pounds.’ ‘That’s terrible,’ says the friend. ‘You should report this thief to the police.’ ‘I would,’ says the man. ‘But at the moment he’s spending less than my wife does.’
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00." The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!" The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama