Joke #4306

Our family was so poor our Christmas dinner was the leftovers from our last Christmas dinner.
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I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
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A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
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What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when you ring her doorbell, she sticks her head out the window and yells, "DING DONG!"
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After Graduating from High School, David moves away from home to study at University. One of his letters home reads: Dear Father, University i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply ¢an't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. After receiving his son's letter, the father immediately replies by sending a letter back. Dear David, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad
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There was a business man driving down this country road when he spotted a little boy that had a lemonade stand. It being hot and him being thirsty, he decided to stop. Once he got up to the little boy's stand, he noticed a sign that said "All you can drink 10 cents," and a single, very small glass. Well, he thought that it was an awful small glass, but since it was only 10 cents for all you can drink, he decided to get some anyway. He gave the boy a dime, and shot down the whole glass in one swig. He slapped the glass back onto the table and said, "fill 'er up." The kid replieds, "Sure thing, that'll be 10 cents." To this the business man said, "But your sign says all you can drink for a dime." "It is," the little boy replies, "That's all you can drink for a dime."
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Yo' Mama is so poor, when she picks a booger, she yells, "Clap your hands and stomp your feet, praise the Lord, we got meat!"
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Did you hear about the gypsy who won the Lottery? He got paid in travellers’ cheques.
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Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
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Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.
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