Joke #4329

Our house was so small if we got a large pizza we had to go outside to eat it.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money, technology
Signs You're No Longer in College... You no longer know what time fast food drive-thru windows close. Your potted plants stay alive. You pay at least a dollar more than the minimum payment on your credit card bill. Your friends' hook-ups and break-ups are now marriages and divorces. You attend parties that the police don't raid. You're not expected to leave the room when the adults are talking. You refer to college students as "those kids." You drink wine, scotch and martinis instead of just beer, beer and beer. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of leftover pizza. At 6 a.m., you're putting your contact lens in instead of taking them out. Naps are no longer weekday options. Dating involves dinner and a movie, not keggers and Ecstasy. Grocery lists contain more than toilet paper and potato chips. You leave parties because you have a busy day tomorrow, not because the EMS guy has strapped you down.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, divorce, food, marriage, money
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, political, weather
When does a female deer need money? When she doesnt have a buck.
Vote: has 22.18 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money
I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
Vote: has 82.72 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, fish, funeral, money, old people
Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
Vote: has 80.99 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, money
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said: Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.
Vote: has 84.12 % from 493 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, money, political, tax
Should you trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent?
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Vote: has 33.86 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, money