Joke #3724

‘If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?’ Steven Wright

I’ve just come into some money. I wonder if they’ll still accept it at the shop?

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"

English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."

Three men discuss the Christmas presents they bought for their wives. The first man says that he bought his wife a vacation home in the Bahamas and one in Jamaica. "That way," he explains, "if she doesn't like one, she can use the other." The second man says he had bought his wife a sports car and a limo for exactly the same reason. The third man says, "I bought my wife a negligee and a vibrator. That way, if she doesn't like the negligee, she can go screw herself."

I lost 125 pounds. It took me a long time, and it cost me a lot of money, but I finally divorced the bitch!

We were so poor, we had to go to KFC to lick other people’s fingers.

Did you hear about the gypsy who won the Lottery? He got paid in travellers’ cheques.

Dad, would you like to save some money? I certainly would, son. Any suggestions? Sure. Why not buy me a bike, then I won't wear my shoes out so fast.

Have you heard about the new aftershave that drives women crazy? No! Tell me about it. It smells of $50 dollar bills.