Joke #3724

‘If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?’ Steven Wright
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: money

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An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife. After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all. So she came downstairs completely naked. "Huh," said the old man, hugging her. "For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the damn thing."
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has 75.83 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, money, wife
Three robbers break into a bank, but when they open the safe, they find only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt. "We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave. The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."
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has 78.68 % from 236 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, money
If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.74 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.” The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.” The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.” The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?” The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!” He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes. His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?” The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: blonde, hunting, money
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
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has 63.92 % from 316 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, money, morbid
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?" The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking. "You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have." The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?" The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
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has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, money
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
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has 47.02 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, communication, geography, money, travel
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said, "You cannot do this, I'm a congressman!" The thief replied, "In that case, give me MY money!"
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has 77.15 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: money, political
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money