Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
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A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking.
The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in."
The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt!
So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Q: What's the difference between basketball and sex?
A: In basketball you dribble before you shoot!
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke.
Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here."
Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here."
Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuck me here."
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Priest walks into a hotel reception and says 'I have booked a room for the night, but I hope the pornography on the television is disabled'. The receptionist say 'You weirdo, its normal porn!'
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
The teacher asked Johnny, "What is sex?"
Johnny stood up and said: "Sex is a temptation caused my a sensation where a boy sticks his location into a girls destination to increase the population of the next generation"
The teacher stared at him and fainted.
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Which is the most confusing day in America?
Father's day!
80% don't know whom to wish.
Rest 20% are scared someone will come and wish them.
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