Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
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Roses are red
lemons are sour.
Open your legs
and give me an hour.
A guy is sitting in a bar; absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress.
Using the time-honoured icebreaker, he sends her a drink.
"How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him.
They strike up a wonderful conversation.
Finally, the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two hundred dollars for what you think you will ply out of me with liquor."
He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture, and just plain destroy the place."
"Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked.
"Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied.
Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman?
A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
What do you say to a virgin?
Thanks for nothing!
Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
I've accepted every email offer I've ever received.
My penis is now 235 feet long.
Vote:
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean?
A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
Q. What do Disney World & Viagra have in common?
A. They both make you wait an hour for a two minute ride.