Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself. 
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My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
Q: What does a good steak have in common with good sex?
A: They're both very rare.
How do you know when your sister is on her period?
Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
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Think of the hottest woman.
Chuck Norris did her.
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Q. How can you tell a head nurse?
A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
What does a Blonde say after multiple orgasms?
Way to go team!
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache."
The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"