Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Q: How do you find a blind man at a nude beach? A: It’s not hard.
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
Guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex. "I think my privates are too small." he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers. "Well, Lager," he replies, quite bemused. "Ah. There's your problem. It shrinks things, those Lagers. You should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow." Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him. "I take it you now drink Guinness?" asked the doc. "No", replies the man "but I've got the wife on Lager!"
Q: Ever had sex while camping? A: It's fucking intents.
Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...