Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself. 
Similar jokes
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Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
Q. How can you tell a head nurse?
A. She's the one with the dirty knees!
A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate.
As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth.
“DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?”
“It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.”
The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face.
Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his
father.
“DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?”
“Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied.
“Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”
Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87.
And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
Vote:
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat.
During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?"
"Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
Q: What's the speed limit of sex?
A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!