Joke #4369

Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
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has 27.24 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, marriage, memory, romantic

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A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones. Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns. The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor. He added a card and proceeded home. After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift. She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."
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has 79.71 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, romantic, Valentines day, wife
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. "Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked. "Not very likely," his wife said. "It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!" "No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time." The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.
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has 77.50 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: car, marriage, memory, old people, time
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
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has 74.94 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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has 58.32 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: elephant, memory, political, republican
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cat, chocolate, geography
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
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has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: flirt, food, romantic
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!
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has 53.07 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, viagra
A teenager is a hopeless romantic who never falls in love more then twice a week.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: love, romantic, teen, time
Three guys talk in a bar. Two discuss how they are king in their castles and how much their wives respect them. The third guy remains quiet. Finally, one guy turns to the quiet guy and asks, "What about you? do you rule your roost?" The quiet guy says, "Well, just the other night, my wife came to me on her hands and knees." "What happened then?" they ask. "She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man.'"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: marriage