Joke #4369

Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
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has 24.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, marriage, memory, romantic

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Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago. "Do you think the shoes will still be in the shop?" Arnold asked. "Not very likely," his wife said. "It's worth a try," Arnold said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped into the car, and drove to the store. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these." He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop.Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!" "No kidding?" Arnold called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time." The man came back to the counter, empty-handed. "They'll be ready Thursday," he said calmly.
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has 78.12 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: car, marriage, memory, old people, time
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where conversation turned to the subject of marriage. Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer. Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged, so he should use his savings to buy a computer instead. During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring. Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted: "Well, don't you have something to ask me?" Dave then got down on bended knee. "Honey," he said, "Will you buy me a new computer?"
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has 74.93 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: computer, food, IT, marriage, romantic
A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones. Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns. The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor. He added a card and proceeded home. After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift. She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."
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has 74.49 % from 235 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, romantic, Valentines day, wife
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's Day. "What do you think it means?" "You'll know tonight," he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it, only to find a book entitled "The Meaning of Dreams."
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has 58.88 % from 299 votes. More jokes about: marriage, romantic, Valentines day
Husband: "Right now, for this Women's Day, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world!" Wife: "Oh dear, I will miss you!"
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has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: holiday, marriage, mean, women
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: cop, history, memory, phone, stupid
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra? A: Oooh - Henry!
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has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, viagra
If you want to drive your wife crazy don’t talk in your sleep, just smile.
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has 62.80 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, chocolate, food, stupid
Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
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has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: horse, money, romantic, sport