What can save a dying blonde?
Hair transplants.
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Q: How does a blonde part her hair?
A: By doing the splits.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
A blonde and a brunette were opening their paychecks when the blonde asked the brunette what she was going to buy.
The brunette replied, "I think I'll buy a new set of plates because mine are chipped. What are you going to buy?"
The blonde said, "I think I'm gonna buy a new butt, because my old one has an enormous crack in it."
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland.
She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
To see what was on the other side.
Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!"
The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
From crawling across the street when the sign said, "DON'T WALK."
Mary Lou, the blonde, was out playing in the garden one day with three boys.
They ran around in the garden and played tag.
She later climbed the tree that was in her garden.
Her mother yelled out, "Mary Lou get down out of the tree, the boys are going to see your panties."
She laughed and she laughed.
She knew she wasn't wearing any panties.
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!"
Second Blonde: "Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!"