Joke #4429

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.

Two policemen are walking the beat when one says, ‘When I get home, I’m going straight upstairs and tearing off the wife’s underwear.’ ‘Feelling randy?’ asks the other. ‘No,’ says the first. ‘The elastic is killing me.’

Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.

I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped. Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.

Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"

What did Adam say to Eve? ‘Stand back! I don’t know how big this thing gets!’

Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.

Man to a woman: "Do you know the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?" Woman: "No." Man: "Lets have lunch sometime…"

‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen

Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.

Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’ Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’ Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’