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Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school.
She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question.
"Who is the creator of the universe?"
Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up.
Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!"
The teacher congratulated her.
A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?"
Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!"
The teacher congratulated her again.
Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?"
Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
Vote:
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment?
Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
There were three nurses in a morgue...
They entered a room where they had discovered that there was a dead man laying on the bed with a hard-on.
The first nurse was very forward and said, "Wow! I have never seen that before, I can't let that go to waste".
After saying this the first nurse sat and rode it.
The 2nd nurse did the same.
The third nurse explained that she couldn't as she was on her period.
After a bit of convincing she eventually rode it.
After 3 minutes the man woke up.
The Nurses said, "What the hell... You were dead a few minutes ago"
The man replied, "yeah I was... But I feel great now I have had two jump starts and a blood transfusion".
I tried some of that aphrodisiac rhino horn and it really worked.
I’m really beginning to fancy those rhinos now.
I heard that the missionary position helps men to work out the chest and triceps... do you wanna help me verify this?
Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room.
The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?"
Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says:
"I did how do you think all this shit got started..."
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night?
A: Pastor Bedtime.
Vote:
I asked my Grandma if she ever tried 69.
And she said, "No, but I have done 53 that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."
A guy is walking along the shoreline at the beach wearing just a pair of cutoff jeans.
Sure enough, he kicks up a bottle, pulls the cork, and out comes the Genie to give him one wish.
He pulls out a map of the Middle East, and asks the Genie if he can bring Peace to this part of the World.
The Genie pales, and says, "Master, these people have been at war since time began. It is their nature, woven into the very fabric of their lives. What you ask is totally impossible. It is probably the only wish I cannot grant you. Ask for anything else and I will make it happen."
"Okay", the guy says. "Tomorrow morning have my wife awaken me, with the best blowjob I've ever had, on her own, without my begging and pleading - just because she likes it, because she wants to, and because it turns her on."
The Genie shakes his head and says, "Let me see that map again!
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquires.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responds the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob."
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
"No offense, sir.
But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."