Joke #4429

Life is a sexually transmitted disease.
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has 53.18 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in. Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in. The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in. They make you wild at sex like a great dessert camel" Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a sex hero he as. The husband, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?" The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?" Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on. As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw sexual power. In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants. All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
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Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
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has 55.19 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
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Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
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has 77.01 % from 319 votes. More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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has 25.03 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, kids, sex
A girl married with a man who had only one foot. Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?" Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!" Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"
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has 74.30 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, family, sex, wedding
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
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has 76.08 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: sex
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."
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has 58.38 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, geography, mean, sex
What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
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has 40.46 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: sex
One day Sven walks into the local pub and announces, "Well boys Svens is getting married." As you can imagine all of Sven's' friends were very happy for Sven's good fortune and they asked, "Who's the lucky girl?" Sven replied, "Well I am a marrying Madge." Well, this upset all of Sven's friends because Madge was nothing but a slut, and they all cried. "Sven you can't marry Madge, she's not a nice girl!" "Sven replied, "Oh ya, Sven's in love and he's a getting married." And his friends persisted, "Sven, Madge is a woman of low morals." Sven just grinned and replied, "Oh ya ya ya, but I love Madge." Finally, his friends had enough and in unison cried out, "But Sven, Madge has been screwed by every man in town!" "Oh ya ya ya," said Sven, "But it's not that big of a town."
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bar, marriage, sex