Joke #5599

Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Vote:
has 70.14 % from 129 votes. More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Man cannot live on bread alone – he needs a bit of crumpet too.
Vote:
has 26.62 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: sex
Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, "I have one of these and you don't." But this time the little girl just keeps on playing. "How come you're not crying today," asks Little Johnny. "My mother told me," says the little girl, pulling up her dress, "that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want."
Vote:
has 80.15 % from 1561 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, sex
My husband told me to find him the best penis enlargement product. So I gave him a magnifying glass!
Vote:
has 74.38 % from 657 votes. More jokes about: husband, sex
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote:
has 33.24 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, Fathers day, marriage, sex
There are three types of sex in a marriage. The first one is Kitchen Sex. This is when you are newlyweds, and you're still having fun, so you do it anywhere, anytime - but mostly the kitchen. The second type is Bedroom Sex. This is when you have settled down a bit and probably have kids, so you can't do it anywhere except the bedroom. The third type of sex is Hallway Sex. This is when you pass each other in the hall and say, "Screw you." But there's also a fourth kind called Courtroom Sex. This is when you are getting a divorce and you try to screw each other in public.
Vote:
has 61.97 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: marriage, sex
A husband and wife are walking down the street when a beautiful young woman blows the husband a kiss. ‘I met her last week,’ explains the husband. ‘Professionally of course.’ The wife replies, ‘Which profession? Yours or hers?’
Vote:
has 65.70 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: sex
Sex isn’t the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.
Vote:
has 69.70 % from 247 votes. More jokes about: sex
I dont understand why people say sex is good in the shower. How do you guys not get your laptop wet?
Vote:
has 61.97 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: computer, disgusting, sex
An old football player was dying. So he called her wife and told her: "My dearest you see I'm dying. May you confess how many times you have done betrays against me during your life?" Her spouse said: "Forgive me, my dear, only 3 times: 1. Do you remember it was so difficult to admit you as a football player in the team? So I went to the couch and did something. That was the cause for you to be a player in the team. 2. Do you remember when you entered the team no body didn't pass you? I went to 10 others players so they changed a friendly treatment during half times. 3. Do you remember during matching nobody of 30000 viewers didn't encourage you? I did something..."
Vote:
has 83.68 % from 1511 votes. More jokes about: death, football, friendship, relationship, sex
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
Vote:
has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology