Joke #5599

Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Vote: has 69.23 % from 114 votes. Send joke:
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Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Vote: has 69.30 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
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The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
Vote: has 56.55 % from 71 votes. Send joke:
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I went into the bar the other day & the bartender said: "What'ya have?" I said: "Suprise me." He did, He showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said: "Hey, who said you could mess around with my wife?" "Everyone did" he replied..."
Vote: has 66.87 % from 119 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab? A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
Vote: has 60.65 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
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What happens when a dwarf runs between a girls legs? He gets a clit around the head and a flap on the face.
Vote: has 58.94 % from 81 votes. Send joke:
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Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
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Yo' Mama is so skanky, when yo' daddy suggested doggie style, she laid down and licked her balls.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
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A furniture store keeps calling me. But all I wanted was one night stand.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
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A king wants his daughter to have a husband so he puts up a flier. The first guy comes and the king puts green glitter on his daughters private part. The next mornning the king checks the guys private part and there's green glitter all over it. More and more guys come along and the same thing keeps happening. Finally, one day this guy comes along. The king puts the green glitter on his daughters private part, and the next mornning checks the guys privates and there was no green glitter. The king is thrilled and offers the man his daughters hand in marriage. The guy smiles to accept with a mouth full of green glitter.
Vote: has 79.49 % from 2209 votes. Send joke:
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Two old ladies were outside smoking one day when it started to rain. One of the ladies took out a condom, cut off the tip, and put it over her cigarette. The other lady said, 'Hey, that's a good idea. What's that called?' The lady responded, 'It's a condom.' The other lady said, 'Where can you get one of those?' She said, 'Oh, just about any grocery of drug store.' So, the next day, the lady went to a local drug store, went up to the cashier, and said, 'I need to get some condoms.' The cashier looked at her puzzled (because of her age) and said, 'UH, what size?' The lady responded, 'Hmm, one that would fit a camel.'
Vote: has 72.97 % from 370 votes. Send joke:
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