Joke #5599

Why do women need guys? Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
Vote: has 69.14 % from 110 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
Vote: has 25.36 % from 262 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
Vote: has 26.31 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.
Vote: has 33.28 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, sex
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in. The Bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside." The women start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thin." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor. The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here have it long and thin." Still, this isn't good enough so the friends continue on up. They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here have it short and thick." They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up. On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here have it long and thick." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."
Vote: has 77.70 % from 373 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, men, sex, women
Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.
Vote: has 62.36 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
Vote: has 81.84 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest. "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic." "Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."' "But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question." "What is that, my son?" "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
Vote: has 78.83 % from 243 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: geography, military, priest, sex, war
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name? Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
Vote: has 76.29 % from 720 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex
Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck. My wife is better than that.’ The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know? Your wife IS better.’
Vote: has 78.46 % from 1102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
If your right leg was Halloween and the other one was Christmas I would have come visit you between the holidays.
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, dirty, flirt, Halloween, sex