Do you know how to play gay poker?
Queens are wild and straights don’t count.
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Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant?
A: Sum Yung Gi.
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?
All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor.
The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die.
As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar.
He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk."
And he entered the bar, drank and died.
At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street.
The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!"
"Why? I want to smoke so much."
"If you bend... we both are dead!"
There was this man who walked into a bar and says to the bartender 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asks, "What's the matter?"
The man says, "I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend."
The next day the same man comes in and orders 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartenders asks, "What's wrong this time?"
The man says, "I found out that my son is gay."
The next day the same man comes in the bar and orders 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asks, "Doesn't anyone in your family like women?"
The man looks up and says, "Apprently my wife does."
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan they were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop.
From the inside they head a Pakistani accent say, "you foreigners come in.
Come in my humble shop." so the married couple walked in.
The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special sandals I think you'd be interested in.
They make you wild at sex like a great dessert camel"
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man had claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being a sex hero he as.
The husband, "how could sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, why don't you see for yourself?"
Well , the husband after much badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them on.
As soon as he slipped then onto this feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in years-- raw sexual power.
In a blink of an eye the husband rushed of too the Pakistani man threw him on the table and started tearing at the guy's pants.
All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
A man asks a guy if he likes fishdicks, the stupid guy answers like this because he thinks that he said fishsticks so he says,
"Yes, I Love them."
Then the man asks him again and says "Do you like having them in your mouth?"
Then the stupid Guy answears like this "Yes I like them in my mouth says the stupid guy confused"
Then the man says "What are you, a gayfish?"
Vote:
I could never fight a gay guy.
I don't know how to start.
"I'm gonna beat your ass...
I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
Why are faggots so generous?
Because they don't know how to be tight arsed!
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver.
She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?"
"Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish.
Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids."
"Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too."
"My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."