Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’ Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?
Apparently 98% of black people enjoy sex in the shower. The other 2% have never been to prison.
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
Doc, every time after sex I hear whistle. What's your age? 70. You know, this is very natural. It would strange if you heard applause...
What’s the difference between a bar and a g-spot? Most men have no trouble finding a bar.
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
A boy washed with his mum in the bathroom and saw her vagina and asks: "what the hell is this". "It is called a cave" replied the mother. The next day he washed with his father and saw his dick and asks "what the heck is this". "This is called little Johnny". The next day he went to school and his teacher was mad that he came late to school so she told him to sing a song. He started to sing "when the black clouds came out of the mountain little Johnny ran into the cave."