Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’
Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
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Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."
Vote:
Your best friend has three girlfriends.
Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me.
All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates.
Three days ago Doe kisses him.
Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex.
Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
Are you a mum?
I am not a dad!
Maybe you could help me with that!
Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.
I haven’t been the same since my testicles dropped.
Mind you, I was hanging from a tree by them at the time.
A married couple was walking down the street when an alien spacecraft landed in front of them.
A married alien couple walked out and said, "Hello, earthlings, we come in peace. We are scientists from the planet GRUDO-X and we want you to tell us all about your planet."
So they talked for hours, until they came to the subject of sex.
The humans told the aliens how humans have sex and the aliens were in shock!
It was very similar to the way the aliens did it.
The men in the group decided to have a little experiment with switching wives for a night.
When the human woman saw the alien man undress, she immediately laughed at his "thing."
The alien looked down and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot."
And he hit his head twice and "it" grew at least two feet.
The woman said "Wow! That's impressive, but I could snap that thing if I wanted to."
So the alien pulled his ears twice and it expanded. The two had the greatest sex of their lives.
The next morning the human man came for his wife and asked, "How was it?"
The wife replied, "Great!"
The man said, "Well, for some strange reason thealien woman kept jumping on me, pulling my ears and hitting me on the head, screaming, "It's broken! It's broken!"
An old man goes to his doctor and says, ‘Can you give me something to lower my sex drive.’
The doctor replies, ‘I would have thought at your age it’s all in the mind,’
‘It is,’ agrees the old man.
‘That’s why I want it lower.’
A businessman was flying on a plane surrounded by hundreds of kids.
A lady went and sat down next to him.
She asked, "Are these all your kids?"
The man replied, "No, I just work at a condom factory, these are all the complaints".
What did one tit say to the other?
I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.