Joke #4431

Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’ Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
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has 29.43 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
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has 74.17 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
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has 39.18 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: sex
‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
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has 39.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
Men are like vacations – they never seem to be long enough.
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has 25.93 % from 214 votes. More jokes about: sex
The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?" "Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
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has 75.08 % from 254 votes. More jokes about: driving, romantic, sex, wedding, women
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
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has 30.37 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: black humor, desert island, morbid, sex
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog. The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!" The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!" He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears. The crocodile opens its jaws wide. The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again. The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker. Everybody in the bar is very impressed. To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!" But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars. Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice: "I think I can do it!" Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!" The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
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has 78.59 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, money, sex
Mary and Jane are talking. Mary declares that she’s finally got pregnant after years of trying. ‘How did you manage it?’ asks Jane. ‘I went to that hypnotherapist on the High Street,’ replies Mary. ‘I got pregnant within two months.’ ‘Oh, my husband and I tried seeing him years ago,’ says Jane. ‘It didn’t work for us.’ ‘Of course it wouldn’t,’ replies Mary. ‘You have to go alone.’
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has 67.76 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: sex