Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’
Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
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Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?"
Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course."
The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday.
If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
A man came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a woman can be at her best when she is at her worst.
‘Sex for an old guy is a bit like shooting pool with a rope.’
George Burns
Before sex, you help each other get naked.
After sex, you dress only yourself.
Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
There were three daughters and they all wanted to get married but they couldn't afford it and neither could there parents.
So the parents said "We will give you all a joint wedding and then you will all be able to get married".
So they got married and all three daughters then said "I want a honeymoon but we cant afford it".
The parents couldn't afford it either so they deiced they would have the honeymoon at their parents house.
So on there honeymoon night their mother woke up and deiced to go downstairs and get a drink.
On the way down she heard the first daughter screaming but she juts ignored it.
When she reached the second daughters bedroom she could hear laughing and just ignored it.
When she reached the third daughters room she could hear nothing and deiced 2 ignore it.
The next morning at the breakfast table she said to the first daughter "Why were you screaming?".
And the daughter replied "Well mother you told me 2 scream when something hurt."
Then the mother said to the second daughter "Why were you laughing last night?" and the daughter replied "Mother you told me to laugh when something tickled".
Then the mother said to the last daughter "Why didn't I hear anything coming from your room last night?" and the daughter replied "Well mother you told me never to talk with my mouth full".
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
What does a nigger do after sex?
25 years to life.
Programming is like sex
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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