Tom to Dick: ‘My mother made me a homosexual.’ Dick: ‘If I bought her enough wool would she make me one as well?’
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
A woman goes into a noisy launderette and asks the assistant to do a service wash. ‘What?!’ shouts the assistant. ‘Come again?!’ ‘No!’ shouts back the woman. ‘This time it’s mustard!’
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.