Joke #4443

Born free. Taxed to death. A man goes into a shop to get his wife a present. He points out a bottle of perfume and asks
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has 17.94 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money

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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations. It’s true. My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys." The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000. Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?" The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: money
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
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has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life, money
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. “The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated a fortune of $1.37.” “And that’s how you built an empire?” the boy asked. “Heavens, no!” the man replied. “Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, money, old people, time, wife
I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
He was so mean that when he found a pack of corn plasters he went out and bought a pair of tight shoes.
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my damn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don’t know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn’t know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my damn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "OK! OK! OK! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well... what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says…go to hell... that you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger."
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has 77.17 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: accountant, lawyer, money
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny. 'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever. 'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
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has 79.18 % from 374 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, money
They say about money that you can’t take it with you. I can’t even afford to go.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money