Joke #1147

At the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce meeting the treasurer reported a deficit of two hundred dollars. One of the chamber members stood up and said, "I vote that we donate half of it to the Red Cross and then give the other fifty dollars to the Salvation Army."
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has 14.67 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money

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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50. The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?" His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive." The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal. "Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot. The couple climbs in the helicopter. The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter. The couple never made a sound. The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides." The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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has 75.92 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, couple, death, money, old people
A pick pocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100." The lawyer stood up and said "Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but if you'd allow him a few minutes in the crowd. . ."
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has 76.91 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, her bathroom consists of a tin can and a pile of leaves.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
What’s the best way to get in touch with your long-lost relatives? Win the Lottery.
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
It can buy a House But not a Home It can buy a Bed But not Sleep It can buy a Clock But not Time It can buy you a Book But not Knowledge It can buy you a Position But not Respect It can buy you Medicine But not Health It can buy you Blood But not Life So you see, Money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want totake away your pain and suffering... So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. A more true Friend you will never find.
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has 77.35 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: friendship, mean, money, poems
I and my two mates went to a hooker and she told us that it will cost us a pound an inch. My first mate went in and came out after minutes, saying, it cost me a tenner! My second mate went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £9.50! I went in and came out ten minutes later and said, it cost me £3.50.! "What do you mean," they asked me. "I told them, you both paid on the way in but I paid on the way out."
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, money, sex, time
Uncle Harry is very rich. His dog was lonely so he bought it a boy to play with. ‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
Why don't black people pay rent? Because jail is free.
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has 68.31 % from 452 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, prison, racist