Joke #4461

Most babies born today are very young.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: kids

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A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
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has 37.14 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: kids
A kid asks his father: Kid: Daddy why do i have to go to bed? Dad: Because the bed wont come to you.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: dad, dog, kids, life
Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.
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has 11.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: kids
What do we do with crude oil? Teach it some manners!
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has 25.74 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: kids
Agnes married and had 13 children. When her husband died, she married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. So Agnes remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, she finally died. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving woman and said, Lord, theyre finally together. One mourner leaned over and quietly asked her friend, "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?" The friend replied, "I think he means her legs."
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has 83.90 % from 554 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, kids, marriage, women
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life
My kids get along great when they're sleeping.
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has 49.93 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: kids