Joke #4464

Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
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What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drum kit.
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Why don't sharks eat niggers? They think it's whale shit.
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What is the definition of "moon"? The past tense of "moo"!
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Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face? A: It will kick off your ladder…
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Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
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Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.
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When God created the donkey, he said:"You’ll work day and night, and you’ll carry in your back heavy baggage. You’ll eat grass and you’ll have low IQ. You’ll be living for 50 years." "But my God, 50 years is a lot of time for that kind of life! Give me only 30." And so it happened. Then, God created the dog:"As a dog, you’ll guard man’s property and you’ll be his staunch/loyal friend. You’ll eat their left overs and you’ll be living for 25 years." "Oh, Mighty God. This kind of life is unbearable. Give me only 10 years to live, please." And so it happened. Then, God created the monkey:" You’ll jump around, tree to tree, and you’ll act like a fool so people can be entertained by you. You life will last 20 years." "No, God, please! Don’t let me suffer for that long. Give only 10 years to live." And so it happened. Last, God created the Man:"You’re a Man. You’re the only sensible being on the planet earth. You’ll use your inteligence to dominance the other creatures. You’ll be in charge. You’ll life will last 20 years." "But my one and only God, 20 years is not too long to achieve my goal. I beg you to give me the donkey’s 20 years, dog’s 15 years and monkeys 10 years." And so it happen. Since then men lives for 20 years as a man. Then, he gets married and works as a donkey for 20 years by carrying heavy baggage night and day. He haves children and lives as a dog, guarding the house and his property, eating family left overs. And when he grows old, he lives like a monkey. He’s his grandchildren entertainer by acting fool!
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Two neighbors are talking to each other. First neighbor: Do you know that my dog is so smart, he waits for the newspaper to drop at the doorstep and then delivers it to me? Second neighbor: Of course, I know that very well. First neighbor: Really, well then, how? Second neighbor: My dog came and told me.
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Where do rabbits go after their wedding? On their bunnymoon.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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