How is a rabbit like a plum?
They re both purple, except for the rabbit.
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Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Because he had a stinking cold.
What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a dead beetle in my soup."
Waiter: "Yes sir, they are not very good swimmers."
As horses say to one another.
Any friend of yours is a palomino!
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Your calves.
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court.
The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?"
"Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear.
He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge.
"On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me."
"Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said,
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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What is the difference between an pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.