The song Santa Claus is Coming To Town was originaly called Chuck Norris is Coming To Town. They changed it so the children wouldn't live in fear.
Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
Santa Claus arrives to a kindergarten and gives each child a present. Everybody received really cool presents – racing car models, ship models and similar. But one kid got only a pair of socks. A kid comes to him and teases him with his received brand new Formula 1 model and laughs at this socks-kid: LHey, what a shitty present you have received, look at my super car" said the kid offensively. "So what, at least I don't have cancer…"
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris once gave a box of his old watches to a group of kids. These kids are now known as the power rangers.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.