Joke #4499

Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Light was heard saying to his son, "Keep practicing and one day you will be faster than the speed of Usain."
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There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
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Yo mama so fat when she went sky diving in a blue jump suit, all the kids below said, "Ahhhh! The sky is falling!"
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A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
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Mary can't stand Sunday school, but her brother William doesn't have a problem with it. So one day in Sunday school, Mary thinks, "The hell with it," and decides to go to sleep. The teacher sees this and asks Mary a question to keep her awake. "Mary, who created the heavens and the earth?" William, who is sitting behind Mary, pokes her in the butt with his pencil. Mary wakes up and shouts, "God almighty!" And the teacher says, "Yes. That's correct, Mary." Mary goes back to sleep and the teacher asks her another question. "Who died on the cross for our sins?" William pokes Mary again. She wakes up and shouts, "Jesus Christ!" Once again, she goes back to sleep. This time the teacher asks, "Mary, what was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" William pokes her again. Mary wakes up and shouts, "If you don't stop poking me with that thing, I'm gonna break it off!"
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There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale." A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish. The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they’re dam fish." The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish. His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren’t supposed to talk like that." The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish. His son replied, "That’s the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: kids
First boy: "Are you having a party for your birthday?" Second boy: "No, I'm having a witch do." First boy: "What's a witch do?" Second boy: "She flies around on a broomstick casting spells."
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: birthday, kids, party