Joke #4515

A feminist walks into a bar that has a sign marked: ‘For Men Only.’ ‘I’m sorry, ma’am,’ says the bartender. ‘We only serve men in this place.’ ‘That’s OK,’ she says. ‘I’ll take two of them.’
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Tom and Timothy were in the same regiment in the army. They were inseparable friends and spent their evenings drinking together. After retirement, they went to different states and settled. However, they kept correspondence through letters and e-mails. To keep the memory of their boozing bouts alive, Tom always filled two glasses with rum and water and sipped from each alternately! When somebody asked him why he did so, he explained: "This glass is Timothy's; this one is mine. So I take a sip from each - one on behalf of Timothy, the other for myself." Suddenly one evening Tom was seen with only one glass on his table. He was asked what had happened. He replied, "You see, I have given up drinking but Timothy has written that he has not. So I have put away my glass and drink only on behalf of my friend."
Vote: has 78.47 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, communication, friendship, military, old people
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk."
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, cop, death, drunk
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I think I've lost an electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."
Vote: has 60.69 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, chemistry, science
Q: What's all over a clean nose? A: Fingerprints.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol
The Sun is shining, what a beautiful day! It would be a pity not to sit this day in a pub by the window though.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, weather
What a barman! When I asked for something tall, cold and full of gin, he called his wife out.
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol
Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol? A: Tequila Mockingbird
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, school
Overheard in a restaurant: She: "This wine is described as full bodied and imposing with a nutty base, a sharp bite, and a bitter aftertaste." He: "Are you describing the wine or your mother?"
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, mother in law, wine
What’s the difference between a drunk and an alcoholic? A drunk goes to work.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol