Joke #4557

A woman applies for a job in a lemon grove. ‘Have you got any experience picking lemons?’ asks the foreman. ‘I certainly have,’ says the woman. ‘I’ve been married four times.’
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
Vote: has 65.08 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, marriage, wife
Two old women were talking about their sex lives. Ethel was upset because her sex life had really died, while Mildred said her sex life was great. Mildred counseled Ethel, "When my Sammy is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lie on the bed, and put both legs behind my head. When he sees me like that, he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night." Ethel said, "I'm going to try that tonight." While Ethel's husband Harold was in the bathroom that night, she took off all her clothes. She struggled to get both legs behind her head. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel fell backwards and couldn't move. Harold came out of the bathroom with a shocked look on his face. "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in. You look like an a**hole."
Vote: has 56.55 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, marriage, sex, women
A man finds a genie lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie comes out and says "I may grant you 3 wishes, but your wife gets double." The man wishes for a new car. The genie gives him a new car and the man's wife 2 new cars. The man then wishes for a new house. The genie gives him a new house and the man's wife 2 new houses. The man then says, "For my final wish, I wish to be beaten to half-death."
Vote: has 51.41 % from 168 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, genie, marriage, wife
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
If it weren’t for marriage, women would have to spend most of their adult lives arguing with complete strangers.
Vote: has 86.53 % from 277 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
"I'd like to seek divorce. My wife hasn't spoken with me more than half year." "Are you stupid? It's a dream of every man."
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
I had two women in my bed the other day. I got home from work and discovered my wife is having a lesbian affair.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
Vote: has 70.28 % from 252 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
My wife has a contract to give lectures – it’s called a marriage licence.
Vote: has 86.38 % from 154 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex? A: Let her catch you doing it.
Vote: has 52.05 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage