Joke #4656

Things have reached crisis point in Beryl’s marriage. ‘If things are so bad,’ her friend advises her. ‘Then you should leave your husband.’ ‘I would,’ says Beryl. ‘If only I could think of a way of doing it that wouldn’t make him happy.’
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
Vote: has 52.38 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Vote: has 67.62 % from 1200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, money, wife, work
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Vote: has 54.06 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
Bill has worked in a pickle factory for several years. One day he confesses to his wife that he has a terrible urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggests that he see a therapist to talk about it, but Bill vows to overcome this rash desire on his own. A few weeks later, Bill returns home absolutely ashen. His wife asks, "What's wrong, Bill?" "Do you remember how I told you about my tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" His wife gasps, "My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" "Oh, um, she got fired, too."
Vote: has 88.04 % from 1074 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, god, marriage, wife, work
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do? Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
Vote: has 51.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: anniversary, husband, marriage, wife
Remember your wife is a romantic who still loves flowers and chocolates. Show her you remember as well by referring to them occasionally.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: chocolate, marriage, memory, romantic
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, Fathers day, marriage, sex
A man walks into a crowded local bar brandishing a revolver yelling "Who’s been screwing my wife?" A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don’t have enough ammo, mate!"
Vote: has 52.70 % from 314 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, marriage, wife
He named the street he built after his wife. It was very apt, as she was cold, hard, cracked and only got ploughed around Christmas.
Vote: has 27.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage