They say whisky and petrol don’t mix.
They do, but it doesn’t taste nice.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Yo mama so fat she died.
Agony: a one-armed man hanging off a cliff with itchy balls.
My idea of balanced diet is beer in each hand.
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little Pennsylvania town.
One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking beer.
The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly.
"This is no place for a member of my congregation.
Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth.
The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of her arms to steady her.
When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here, buddy, we won't have any of that carrying on in this bar."
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded, "Well, heck, if you're that far along you might as well finish the job."
What a barman!
When I asked for something tall, cold and full of gin, he called his wife out.
Chuck Norris can change the tire on a car while it's still moving.
A man in a bar, after several drinks, began bragging that he could identify any type of wood by its smell only. The patrons of the bar decided to test him.
The man was blindfolded and presented with several pieces of wood.
First they tried maple.
He smelled it and said, "That's maple."
They then tried ebony; he again smelled it and named the wood correctly.
He did this with every piece of wood they brought before him.
The bartender then got an idea to trick him.
And they took one of the waitresses and put her crotch up to his nose. He sniffed for a while.
"Boy," he said "This is difficult.
Flip that board over and let me smell the other side."
So they took they waitress and put her ass near his nose.
He took a big whiff, started to smile and said, "You guys can't fool me!
That's the shit house door from a tuna boat!"
A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the drunk continues to sit there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall .
The drunk mumbles, "ain’t no use knocking, there’s no paper on this side either!"