The famous sex therapist was on the radio taking questions when a caller asked, ‘Doctor, why do men always want to marry a virgin?’
To which the doctor responded, ‘To avoid criticism.’
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What’s the definition of a Yankee?
Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x.
The code is: "Making a call."
One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call.
The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order.
Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call.
The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen.
The queen was so gorgeous that the king's ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her.
One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom.
Before leaving, he asked his three ministers to take good care of his queen and all his affairs during his absence.
All three pronounced their loyalty.
That night, when the queen was deep asleep the king placed a sharp blade inside her because he didn't trust his three ministers.
The following week, the king returned and summoned his three ministers to the palace.
He ordered all three to strip. To the king's surprise, two of them were penisless and the third was fine.
The two unfaithful ministers were immediately executed.
The king praised the third minister for his loyalty and asked him what he wished.
"Aaaah, aaaaaaaaah," he replied.
Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar.
One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
What do spinach and anal sex have in common?
If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.
Vote:
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One?"
So I did...
I don't remember much after that.
Kock, Knock
Who is there?
Suck, suck.
Suck, suck who?
After a long pause with a low voice:
My dick; dear!
Vote:
Q: Why don't Canadians have group sex?
A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.
Small boy to friend: ‘What would you do if a girl kissed you?’
Friend: ‘I’d kiss her back. What would you do?’
Small boy: ‘I’d kiss her front.’