A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
How do girls get minks? The same way minks get minks.
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt! So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay? A. They don't have time.
The chicken and the egg are laying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face while the egg is frowning and looking slightly annoyed. The egg mutters "Well I guess that answers that riddle".
A desperate man goes to the doctor because he can't get a hard-on. He says " Doc I can't live without sex, I need the use of my equipment back!! " The Doc says " There is an experimental procedure where the mucles of a baby elephants' trunk are removed and implanted in your penis, this gives you the full use of your penis." Great I'll do it. Some time after the procedure, the man is at dinner with his date. He feels a rustle in his pants. So he just ignored it. It happens again. So he figured it just needed some air. So he unzips his pants to let it out. The problem seemed to go away until his penis reached up onto the table, grabbed a roll and disapeared back under the table. His date stared in complete awe and said " Can you do that again". He said " Probally but I don't think I could fit another roll up my ass."
I hope you're into yoga, cause you're going to get a good stretch tonight.
Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for bes quality rubber.
Knock, Knock Who is there? A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet. What do you want? Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.
Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy? A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised? A: Because blonde men are dumb too.