A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
The results of in-depth studies have determined that the most often used sexual position for marriedcouples is the "doggie position". The husband sits up and begs and the wife rolls over and plays dead.
In bed my girlfriend used to mentally dress me.
Why do women close their eyes during sex? They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? When his hand caught fire.
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.