Joke #3592

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal." The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."

Roses are red lemons are sour. Open your legs and give me an hour.

Wife comes back from the doctor and says to her husband: Honey, I have a sad news - a gynecologist told me not have sex for a three weeks... Husband: And what the dentist said?

Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.

Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck. My wife is better than that.’ The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know? Your wife IS better.’

Two firemen are butt fucking in a smoked filled room. The fire chief walks in and says "what are you doing?" Give this man mouth to mouth then one of the firemen says: "I did how do you think all this shit got started..."

What did one tit say to the other? I hope we get support soon or people will think we're nuts.

Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.

On wedding night, during sex: Husband: I had a sex with so many callgirls so many time before. Wife: Thats what I have been thinking since we met that I have seen you somewhere before...

- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."

What’s the definition of a Yankee? Same thing as a ‘quickie’ but you do it yourself.