A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta.
He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"
The Madam is astonished.
"But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my prettiest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen darlin’, I’m not horny – I’m just homesick."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
I'm no weather man, but you can expect more than a few inches tonight.
A husband feeling a bit horny goes to the bathroom and returns with 4 aspirin and a glass of water for his wife.
He says, "Here honey, here are some aspirin and a some water."
She replied, "but honey I do not have a headache!"
He replied, "Thank God!"
Smoke a smoke
Not a butt
Fuck a virgin
Not a slut.
It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex.
His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary."
The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?"
His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
‘After making love, I said to my girl, “Was it good for you too?”
And she said, “I don’t think this was good for anybody.”’
Garry Shandling
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Before sex, you help each other get naked.
After sex, you dress only yourself.
Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.