Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87.
And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
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I wish my girlfriend had warned me about the ceiling mirror in her bedroom.
I lay down ready for her, then ran out screaming – I’d looked up and thought I was being attacked by a naked skydiver.
A honeymoon couple go into a hotel and ask for a suite.
‘Bridal?’ asks the desk clerk.
‘No thanks,’ replies the bride, ‘I’ll just hang onto his shoulders.’
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment?
Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
Yo mama's like a library, she's open to the public.
Why are black peoples eyes red after sex?
Pepper spray.
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Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for bes quality rubber.
Knock-Knock
Who is there?
A long penis with a naked head.
Come in please we were waiting for you.
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‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college.
The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse.
He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl.
She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive.
After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in.
The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window.
The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress.
As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window.
Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing.
The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window.
The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?"
The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."