Joke #4669

Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87. And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.

Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.

Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.

My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.

What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.

Roses are red violets are blue. My dick has glue I offer it to you.

What’s the sex? The sex in a disease. You always get in bed because of it.

Wishing to prove to his wife that he loved her for more than sex, the young man bought her a lovely bouquet of roses. Despite his good intentions, however, the devoted husband received a suspicious look when he handed her the flowers. "I suppose," she said, "that now you expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs spread." "Why?" said the young man. "Don't we have a vase?"

How does a girl from Harlem practice safe sex? She locks the car doors.

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.

Suzy asked her big sister Samantha how babies are made. Samantha explains it to her. "I still don't get it? Can you show me." Suzy says. "OK. Tonight, I will let you watch will my boyfriend, Jack and I screw." That night, Jack laid Samantha 5 times but Suzy still didn't understand. The next night Jack was tired of Suzy watching so he offered to have sex with her. "OK but I don't want Samantha to watch" So Samantha went outside. They are in there for almost an hour and when they come out Jack is smiling like crazy. "That was fun but I still don't get it." Says Suzy The next day the same thing happened. And the next day. Finally 2 weeks later Samantha comes home crying. "Whats wrong," Suzy says. "Jack dumped me. He said there was someone better." Said Samantha. "Let's go talk to him maybe we can change his mind," said Suzy. When they got there Jack said he made up his mind and there was nothing they could do to change it. Then he asked to speak to Suzy privately. He pulled off all of Suzy's clothes and started to screw her. "OK," Jack said kissing Suzy's neck "I broke up with Samantha now tell me how you got to be so good in bed." "Fine." She replied, "I asked all my other sisters how babies are made."