Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
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Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal?
A: Elvis has been sighted.
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Q: When do Democrats like the idea of a flat tax?
A: After it reaches 95%
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
Q: What does the receptionist at the sperm clinic say when clients are leaving?
A: “Thanks for coming!”
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them cause they will never see the light.
Vote:
A guy is sitting in a bar; absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress.
Using the time-honoured icebreaker, he sends her a drink.
"How lucky am I," he thinks, as she gets up to come sit next to him.
They strike up a wonderful conversation.
Finally, the girl turns to him and says, "Look, you seem like a really nice guy, so I have to tell you that I'm a working girl. I get two hundred dollars for what you think you will ply out of me with liquor."
He replies, "I have no problem with the money but, since you were so straightforward I must tell you that when I come, I go nuts. I bite, scratch, kick, punch, pull hair, break furniture, and just plain destroy the place."
"Oh my God! How long does that last?" she asked.
"Just until I get my two hundred bucks back," he replied.