Joke #4680

Our body cells renew while asleep. If only our wallets could do the same.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: football, money, sport
Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
How do you find the population of a Mexican village? Roll a quarter down the street.r
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: mexican, money, racist
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?" The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?" The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
Vote: has 85.12 % from 196 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: IT, money, office, work
I asked the boss if I could get a raise, and he said, "Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position's productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment." I said, "I don't get it." He said, "That's right."
Vote: has 81.57 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: management, money, stupid
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
Vote: has 68.50 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, Yo mama
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, wife
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. “How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her. “Well, I was trying to commit suicide,” the blonde replied. “What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?” “No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.” “So then?” asked the doctor. “Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.” “So then?” “Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, doctor, money
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money