Joke #4680

Our body cells renew while asleep. If only our wallets could do the same.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
This desperate guy named Jim goes to the whorehouse with 5$. He buys a the cheapest prostitute named Sandpaper Sally. As they start to have sex, Jim screams, "Ouch! Now I know why they call you Sandpaper Sally!" Sally scoots out of the room. Five minutes later she came back and Jim attempts sex once again. "What the hell happened?" asks Jim, "This is the best sex I''ve ever had!" Sally replies, "Oh, I just picked my scabs."
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, money, sex
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
Vote: has 80.86 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, money, parrot, phone
He was so poor he didn’t even get a yo-yo for Christmas. His parents could only afford a yo.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
Vote: has 44.92 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money
After 40 years of hard work, a man retired with $5,000,000.00 which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment. And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50.
Vote: has 82.13 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, money, time, work
Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
Vote: has 58.26 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, money
I saw a tramp who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’
Vote: has 27.32 % from 5 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health, money