Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
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I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, "I want you to try and sell this to me."
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I said, "£100 and it's yours."
Yo momma is so poor the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one.
The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?"
The assistant says, "$2000."
The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive.
The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast."
"What about the green one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes."
"What about the red one?" the man asks.
The assistant says, "That one's $10,000."
The man says, "What does HE do?"
The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
Your momma so fat when she step on the scales her phone number came up.
Yo mamma so stupid she tried to eat her iPhone because it had an apple on it!
Yo mama so poor that when I stepped on a cigarette she said "who turned off the heat?"
Yo Mommas so stupid she got lost in a telephone booth.