Joke #4681

The cost of living is the difference between your net income and your gross habits!
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has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money

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Money talks – all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money
A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?
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has 33.60 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, customer service, money, racist
Q: How many corporate attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: Who knows, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: business, lawyer, light bulb, money
A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn't report it. The thief was spending less then his wife.
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has 84.55 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: money, wife
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: money
Happy Father's Day! I got you a present but if you want to get technical then technically you bought it. By the way, can I borrow $20?
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, money
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money I wouldn't be here."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: husband, money, wife
Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
Money is not everything. There’s also MasterCard and Visa.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why do Jews have so big noses? A: Because the air is free.
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has 55.44 % from 201 votes. More jokes about: insulting, jewish, money, racist