My girlfriend used to fake foreplay.
A man falls asleep on a beach and gets severe sunburn.
He’s rushed to hospital by his wife
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A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
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What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
A very old man went to a church, making this confession:
- Father, I am 78 years old, I have been married for 40 years.
All these years I had been faithful to my wife, but yesterday I had sex with an 21 year old woman.
- When was the last time you made a confession?
- I never have, I am Jewish.
- Then why are you telling it to me?
- I am telling it everybody ...
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age?
A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home.
They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition.
"I should tell you, I have acute angina" she said.
The man replied, "thats good because you have the ugliest breasts I ever seen!"
Q: Whats the definition of vagina?
A: The box a penis comes in.
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Viagra is like Disneyland; a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.
I think you’ll find that any of my lady companions will tell you I’m a ‘five times a night man’.
I really shouldn’t drink so much tea before I go to bed.