What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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Men are like Bluetooth.
When they’re close they’re connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment.
Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way.
God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye."
To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Men are like.....Vacations.
They never seem to be long enough.
I had to divorce my husband for religious reasons,
I'm a catholic and living with him is hell.
How many men would it take to mop a floor?
No one knows; they've never done it.
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
A guy has a talking dog.
He brings it to a talent scout.
"This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent.
"Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds.
"All dogs go ‘roof’."
"No, wait," the guy says.
He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?"
"Rough!" the dog answers.
The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare.
He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says.
"This one will amaze you.
" He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog.
And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.
And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"