What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
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A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door.
One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four".
Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions.
Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return.
This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!".
Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button?
Because there are blonde men too!
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet.
What are they thinking?
The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet.
He doesn’t want to talk.
May be he’s get tired of me.
He doesn’t love me anymore.
He’s probably got someone else.
I see.
We’ll have to separate each other."
The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling.
Wow!
How keep it there and don’t fall?"
How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.