Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?
A: A widower.
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Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
There are 5 birds in a tree.
A hunter shoots 2 of them dead.
How many birds are left?
2 birds.
The other 3 fly away!
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
How was Colonel Sanders a typical male?
All he cared about were legs, breasts, and thighs.
What's the biggest difference between men and women ?
Men are crabby all month long.
What is a man's idea of helping with housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog.
One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?"
The man replies, "No my dog doesn't."
The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man.
"Thats not my dog", replied the other.