Joke #4713

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.

Did you hear about the new Exorcist Movie? They got the Devil to come in to take the Priest out of the child.

Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"

A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office. He inquisitively ask the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?" She replied, "I'm having a baby." With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?" She said, "He sure is." Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?" She said, "Oh, yes. It's a real good baby." With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked... "Then why did you eat him?"

Father and his 13 year old son walk into the pharmacy. The son sees the boxes of condoms and asks: "What are these dad?" And the father answers truthfully: "These, my boy, are called condoms. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh.. i see! the boy answers. They shown them to us at school, in the sex education class." Then the boy looks at a packet with 3 condoms in it and asks: "Why does this one have only 3 in it dad?" "This, son is for high-school kids: One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday." Then the boy looks at another packet that has 6 inside. "What about this one? Why does it have 6 in?" "This is for college students: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday." Then the kid sees that packet with 12 inside and with great wonder asks: "And this one dad, with 12 inside?" His father sighs and explains to him: "These my boy, are for married people. One for January, one for February…"

What is a bunny's favorite music? Hip-hop.

A priest was talking to a group of kids about "being good" and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?" "Heaven! Heaven!" Yelled Little Lisa. "And what do you have to be to get there?" asked the priest. "Dead!" Yelled Little Johnny.

One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."

Yo' Mama is so ugly, her imaginary friend played with other kids.