Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.
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Peter: My mom is having a new baby.
Joy: What's wrong with the old one?
What did the volcano say to the other volcano?
Stop erupting me.
He was such a big baby that the doctor was afraid to slap him.
I’m leaving you... You’re constantly sneering at my overweight...
But honey, what about our kid?
What kid?
So you are not you pregnant?!
Q: What's red and goes up and down?
A: A tomato in an elevator.
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it.
She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.”
To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town;
"Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father.
"How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
TEACHER: Why would you paint something black?
STUDENT: So it runs faster.
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?
A: Because then the children have to play inside.