Joke #3074

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
Vote: has 40.80 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Four-year-old to her two-year-old sister: "Let's play Christmas. I'll be Santa Claus and you can be a present and I'll give you away."
Vote: has 85.52 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, game, kids, mean, Santa
On a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family’s only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her-how could she possibly continue to feed her family now? In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head. Now the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said,”I’ve seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, then I will restore your parents and the cow to you.” The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to get it up again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river. Next the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, “If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, then I will make everything right.” And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river. The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. “I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row.” The young son replied, “Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?” The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, “Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?” And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, “Why not THIRTY times in a row?” Finally, she said, “Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health.” Then the young son asked, “Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won’t kill you like it did the cow?”
Vote: has 84.45 % from 319 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, family, kids, women
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Vote: has 82.91 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, kids, marriage
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Q: What did the big turnip say to the little turnip A: When did you turn up?
Vote: has 23.90 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
If a wizard was knocked out by Dracula in a fight what would he be? Out for the count!
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, doctor, kids
What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"
Vote: has 46.53 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No.
Vote: has 77.29 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
Vote: has 59.83 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids