Joke #3074

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster? A: Hello, hello.
Vote: has 38.75 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was. She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious. She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye. Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, "I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you’re thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates." A few days later, Judy went to John and said, "You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can’t seem to find it. You don’t think she would have taken it, do you?" "I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure," replied John. John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter: "Dear Mom, While I’m not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you 'didn’t' take a gravy ladle, the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner one has been missing. Love, Your son." Several days later, John received a reply from his mother which read: "Dear John, While I am not saying you 'do' sleep with Judy, and I’m not saying you 'don’t' sleep with her, the fact remains that she would have found the gravy ladle by now if she were sleeping in her own bed. Love, Mom."
Vote: has 82.48 % from 139 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
Pupil (on phone): My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!
Vote: has 73.38 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, school
What is a bunny's favorite music? Hip-hop.
Vote: has 57.35 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids
A small boy is sent to bed by his father… Five minutes later: "Da-ad…" "What?" "I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad…" "WHAT?" "I’m THIRSTY… Can I have a drink of water?" "I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!" Five minutes later: "Daaad…" "WHAT?!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"
Vote: has 83.15 % from 360 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
Vote: has 88.97 % from 1417 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, doctor, kids, sex
Man: "How old is your father?" Boy: "As old as me." Man: "How can that be?" Boy: "He became a father only when I was born."
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, kids
When Chuck Norris was a child, he would play with real logs instead of Lincoln logs.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, kids
Two guys meet: "Where were you lost my friend? says one of them." "Well, I took my kids to the zoo..." "And what kind of animals did you see there?" "The tiger... Huge and Scary! Full of stripes... Slowly walking inside the cage. She was “ahgrrr...” "Are you kidding me men? The tiger doesn’t go “ahgrrr..” … She “grrrrsss..”! "Right, ok.. But when you get too close to her face... !"
Vote: has 18.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, kids
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
Vote: has 14.19 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids