What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
Wanna know Victoria's Secret? She has a penis.
Their was a camel and elephant, the elephant said to the camel. "How come you have your t*ts on your back?" and the camel got offended so he told the elephant. "Well why do you have your d*ck on your face?"
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
A Boyfriend texts his Girlfriend saying "Hey babe you wanna come over and have sex?" Girlfriend texts back "Duh!" So the girl goes over her Boyfriends house, and right before they get into it, he sets the boundaries. "Ok, so my little brother is home, and I have bunk beds. He's on the bottom bunk. If you want it harder, you say tomato. If you want it faster, you say lettuce, and if you want to moan you say any other ingredients that would be on a sandwich." So they're up on the top bunk having sex, and she's yelling "Tomato! Tomato! Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheese! Cheese!" Well the little brother is still on the bottom bunk and yells "Hey can you guys knock it off, your getting Mayonnaise all over me!!!"
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome
Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!