Joke #4733

I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

I unfollowed Taylor Swift on Twitter... I'm sure she's gonna write a song about it.
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, music, women
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. The doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Q: Why are hangovers better than women? A: Hangovers will go away.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A man is sitting in a bar when a beautiful woman walks up and whispers in his ear, “I'll do anything you want for 50 bucks.” He puts his drink down and starts going through his pockets. He pulls out a ten, two five's, a twenty and ten ones. He thrusts the wadded up money into the woman's hand and says, "Here...paint my house.”
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, money, women
How can you tell she's a macho women? She rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.
Vote: has 58.29 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
Vote: has 58.87 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, sex, wife, women
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked somebody from the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying a single item at a time. One day I told her, 'Hon, why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" "Did it save time?" the person in the audience asked. "Actually, yes," replied the expert. "It used to take her 20 minutes to make breakfast. Now I do it in seven."
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: time, wife, women
A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. "Okay," she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither," says Jed. "Let's take these things off."
Vote: has 75.46 % from 126 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, travel, women