Joke #4733

I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"
Vote: has 67.34 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, marriage, women
Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.
Vote: has 73.10 % from 93 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.
Vote: has 56.20 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: "Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks." The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?" The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her." The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?" The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
Vote: has 76.54 % from 137 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, morbid, sex, women
How many men does it take to please a woman. Impossible. Once a woman's done bitching about the men they're all asleep.
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: women
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ......... and stay for breakfast. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything had been SO incredible!!!! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?". "No," she replies, "You just happened to catch my eye."
Vote: has 67.17 % from 103 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: ginger, life, money, women
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, travel, women