I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
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He: So then, what's your sign?
She: Dollar.
A lady at a party goes up to Winston Churchill and tells him, "Sir, you are drunk."
Churchill replies, "Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober."
A young woman was taking golf lessons and had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting.
Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for medical assistance.
The golf pro saw her heading back and said, “You are back early, what’s wrong?”
“I was stung by a bee!” she said.
“Where?” he asked.
“Between the first and second hole.” she replied.
He nodded and said, “Your stance is far too wide.”
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable?
A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful?
Beautician: Maybe.
Does he still drink a lot?
A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream?
The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane.
During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace.
When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?"
"No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
Vote:
Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis?
Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.
A man knocked on a door an a women answered and he asked if he could use her toilet.
She said you have 3 chances, if you do 3 things wrong I`ll call the police.
So he went to piss but on the flush chain there was a bra so he ripped it off.
Then when he was walking down the stairs he saw her cat called Boobs on the step & he hates cats so he squezed it & then threw it up the stairs.
He then went in the kitchen where the women was & the women said why did you throw my cat up the stairs?
He said I don`t know.
While she went to get it, on the table was a glass of milk which he then drank.
When the women came back she said you had your 3 chances now I'm calling the Police.
When the police came they asked her what the man had done. She said this man has ripped her bra off, squezed her Boobs and drank her milk.