Joke #7350

A Woman asks a Waiter What is this fly doing in my Ice cream? The waiter says, "SHIVERING MADAM".

Question: What’s the difference between your paycheck and your penis? Answer: You don’t have to beg a woman to blow your paycheck.

A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"

Q: How do you fix a woman's watch? A: You don't...there's a clock on the oven!

Q: Why did this woman cross the road? A: Because I was not fast enough to hit her.

Jim and Edna are both mental patients. One day Jim jumps into the swimming pool but, doesn't come up for air. Quick as a flash, Edna sees her friend in trouble, so dives in and pulls him out. Later, the hospital director calls Edna into his office and sayes "Edna, Ive got some good news and some bad news. The good news is, we are releasing you as you are obviously sane 'saving anothers life'. But unfortunately, the bad news is that Jim hanged himself in the bathroom ..." "Oh no' Edna replies, that's where I put him to dry !"

What kind of bees make milk instead of honey? Boobies.

Q: Why do women have periods? A: Because they deserve them.

How many Feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1) None. Feminists can't change anything. 2) Two. One to screw in the light bulb and one to berate any men who offer to help.

Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.

I like my women like my morning coffee, falling off the roof of my car as I peel out of a gas station parking lot.