Joke #4737

A man makes a phone call to an export office in a port of France, and asks whether they can ship a 20’ container with live geese properly stored in their appropriate places. Oui monsieur; what is the destination port for this load? I’m sending them to the zoo in Brazil. Wouldn’t you be better off calling the export office in Portugal? Why is that sir? If you’re sending them to Brazil to avoid bureaucracy, then you should contact the Portuguese; of course!
Vote: has 18.64 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, life
1st Eskimo: "Where did your mother come from?" 2nd Eskimo: "Alaska." 1st Eskimo: "Don’t bother, I’ll ask her myself!"
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
You WILL be a winner today. Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said, "Are you two an item?"
Vote: has 39.64 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...!
Vote: has 88.61 % from 438 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, wife
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where Upon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russian." Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again Silence. The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians from: The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought... Then silence. Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men...it's a trap. There's two of them."
Vote: has 80.87 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, life, time
Bill Clinton walks out on to his front porch, and written in urine was "The president must go." Bill Clinton storms into his office and demaned to know who did it. So his two body guards run out to find out who it was. Five hours later the two gaurds come back in, they told Bill, "We have some bad news, and we have worse news." "What is the bad news?" asked Bill. "Well, the bad news is, we took a urine test, and it was his vice-president, Al Gore." "Whats the worst news?" asked Bill. "The worst news is that it is Hillary's hand writing!"
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, life, political
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me... Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
Vote: has 14.51 % from 12976 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, food, life, music
A runaway man from prison that was sentenced for life, has stayed in for 25 years. While trying to find a place to hide, he enters a newlywed’s house, ties the man in a chair in a corner of the room and ties the woman in the bed. He climbs on the bed, on top of the woman and appears to be kissing her neck. Then he gets up and leaves the room. Immediately the husband drags his chair up to the bed and whispers to his wife: "My love, this man hasn’t seen a woman for many years. I saw him kissing your neck and rushing out. Just play nice with him and do as he asks you to. If he wants to have sex with you just agree and pretend that you like it. Whatever you do, don’t go against his will and upset him. Both our lives are at your hands right now, be strong and remember that I love you." As soon as the half naked woman recovers from the shock of what she just heard, she says: "Honey, I feel very relieved that you see it this way. You are right, this man has not seen a woman for years but he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering to me. He said that he finds you very cute and asked me if we have Vaseline in the bathroom! Be strong and remember that I love you too!"
Vote: has 50.64 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, marriage, prison, time