Joke #4786

Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
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has 83.82 % from 334 votes. More jokes about: women

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A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
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Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: fat, friendship, women
I've got a new anorexic girlfriend. Its not going too well though. I'm just seeing less and less of her ...
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
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has 81.42 % from 193 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
Why are marriend women heavier than single women? Single women come home, see what's in the refrigerator and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the refrigerator.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: women
Josh: What do you call a blonde in an institute of higher learning? John: A visitor.
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has 81.83 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: women
While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replys, "What about three?" The genie retorts " Look pal, I'm in a hurry, I've been cooped up in that damn lamp for. . ." "OK, alright" the guy responds. "Tell you what, I'm tired of paying for airplane tickets to Hawaii. I'd like you to build a bridge from California to Hawaii." This pisses the genie off. He screams, "Hey, this isn't the movies. Your wish has to be practical." "Do you know the engineering it would take to design that, the materials it would take, you'd have to compensate for plate techtonics, the continental shelf. . ." "Geez" the guy responds, "Well, I'd really like to understand women." The genie responds "Did you want two lanes or four?"
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has 74.99 % from 800 votes. More jokes about: airplane, genie, sex, women
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: god, love, women
Question: What’s the ideal breakfast setting? Answer: You’re sitting at the kitchen table and your son is on the cover of the Wheaties box, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy, and your wife is on the back of a milk carton.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: food, wife, women
Question: Why are hurricanes sometimes named after women? Answer: When they come they’re wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them.
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has 85.28 % from 783 votes. More jokes about: car, weather, women