Joke #33

Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?

I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me: "Are you alone?" So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone." "So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl. I fainted...

I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.

"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."

What do you call a black woman thats had 5 or more abortions? Crime fighter.

At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: "Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?" "Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to confess that I am very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife repeatedly, you gossip about your clients. Of course, I know you!" Speechless, by the unexpected answer, the lawyer points with his finger on the other side of the court room and says: "Do you know the defense lawyer?" "Oh, yes! I know Mr. Soft as well. I was holding him in my arms when he was a baby, and I can say that I am disappointed in him, too. He’s a drunk and a gamester. He finds it hard to develop a normal relationship with anyone and he is one of the worst lawyers of our town!" At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any of you jerks, asks if she knows me, you’re screwed!"

"Sorry sir, are these plastic flowers?" "As natural!" "What? They are natural?" "No, plastic!" "But, for Christ Sake, sir! Are they natural or plastic?" "Natural plastic!"

How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.

Why did the woman cross the road? That's not the point,what's she doing out of the kitchen?

A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"

A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a police man on the street and says, "I have a problem." The police man asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, "See that man?" The police man replies, "Yes, is he watching you?" She replies, " NO!, that is the problem!"