Joke #4792

What´s the difference between a goodyear and a fucking good year? 365 condoms.
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My girlfriend used to give amazing blow jobs, but lately they haven't been so great - they are starting to hurt me now since her baby teeth started growing in.
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I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?
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A woman is divorcing her husband on the grounds of cruelty. His organ is so large it hurts her to have sex. After she has explained her problem to a lawyer, he tells her that he’ll file her petition. ‘Stuff that!’ says the woman. ‘Why can’t you go round and sandpaper his down a bit.’
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Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87. And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
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What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
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Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
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Q. What's the definition of a Yankee? A. Same thing as a ''quickie'', only you do it yourself.
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Girl: "Do you believe in puppy love?" Boy: "I tried it once, but their assholes are too small."
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Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"
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